Note: To find out what was the problem on that occasion and why Dave was embarrassed...
Some others suggested different remedies, such as
Giving her some medicines for getting quick relief,
Talking to a counselor or
Consulting a psychiatrist etc.
The best suggestion came from one of the guests who asked him, “Why not use Choose It!, the free and best software for taking decisions when you are unable to figure out your problems?”
Dave was surprised, “Free software? I am a software professional myself, how come I do not know anything about it?”
Somebody replied, “There are two reasons for it."
"One is that this software has been introduced only recently, so you may not have come across it due to the pressure of your own work.”
“The second reason may be that while professionals give expert advice to others easily, when it comes to solving their own problems, they choose to look at all the wrong places instead of checking whether there is a solution in their own knowledge area.”
“When Mary was having such problems, you might have thought of looking for medical solutions only and not software solutions.”
Dave asked them, “Yes, where is the relevance of a software solution when the problem may be medical or psychological?” in a somewhat embarrassed and irritated tone (though he tried his best to conceal the irritation from his voice).
The person who suggested Choose It! said, “In a way you may be right."
"Here the approach may not be medical altogether, but about how to tackle the problem in general, what decisions to be taken etc and that’s where this software is very useful.”
Dave said, “Ok, let us have a go at it. How to use it?”
The person who introduced it was John Gifford. He explained the software briefly to Dave this way:
“There are 5 steps in this. The First Step is that you ask the right question.”
“What would be your right question?”
Dave replied after some thought, “How can I solve her problems related to rainforests?”
He continued, “What will be the next step?”
John asked him, “Are you sure that is your right question? Since your next steps depend on your asking the right question.”
Dave confirmed that this question was the right question for him.
John continued, “Ok; You then list out the possible answers for the question."
"You should see to it that the answers are not “Yes/No” or “Do It/Don’t Do It” types."
"If your answers are of these types only, then you should rephrase your question correctly to get the correct solution from the software. Right?”
After some thought, Dave listed out his possible answers for the Step 2 as follows:
John continued, “In the third step, you have to decide what is important for you."
"There may be more than one parameter or factor, which you may consider important. List them all in any order you may choose."
"Then assign a score from 1 to 100 to each of the factors (do not enter a “0” for any of the factors).”
Dave thought for a long time. Then slowly and steadily began listing the factors he considered important.
He then started assigning numbers for each of them. He corrected the numbers a few times not getting satisfied each time. At the end of it all, he still looked somewhat undecided, but later on left them as they were.
His listing of the factors and the numbers assigned by him to each of them were as follows:
John continued, “In the fourth step, you assign a score from 1 to 100 for each possible answer on how each factor fulfills your requirements. Do not choose “0” score again."
"Check it column wise for each possible answer for each factor."
"Your columns consist of your factors given above and the rows must be the possible answers given by you earlier. This way you compare all of your possible answers for each factor, one factor at a time.”
Again Dave spent a long time in assigning scores in each column, revising them again, going to the next column, assigning some numbers, revising them, going back to the previous column, revising the scores again and so on.
After a lapse of a considerable length of time, he completed the task with all the five columns and was still looking at the figures with some hesitation, indicating that the choice of the numbers was not completely satisfactory for him.
Then John said, “Ok, let’s see, what does the software say about the decision you have taken.” And proceeded to the fifth step.
The answers with the results accompanied by a ranking as a bar chart to the right were as follows:
For our understanding, let us have a look at the solution given here.
The scoring was done by Dave on the basis of what he considered as the possible answers, what he considered as the weight for each factor and so on.
He gave importance to his thoughts only.
Perhaps he wanted Mary to get up on her feet as quickly as possible and to become as normal as possible. For that, he perhaps thought that a visit to their doctor would be the most important step.
That may perhaps explain the figure of 92.27 for the possible answer “Show her to a GP.”
At the back of his mind though, he was also thinking about showing her to a psychologist as suggested by Bill and so, the next high figure of 91.03 is coming in favor of the possible answer “Show her to a psychologist.”
Saving himself from embarrassment was more important for him perhaps and not saving the rainforests. The results accordingly show the ranking mirroring his thinking.
Saving the rainforests was of prime importance for Mary only and not for Dave and that may perhaps explain why it has come out as only the third possible answer at 88.45.
The other two possible answers had come out with lower scores than the above.
That way, he was getting only a short-term solution.
He will have to use the software in cooperation with Mary so that they may figure out a long term solution; so that Mary will have no chance to collapse again any time with fright about rainforests or getting up in the middle of the night saying that their baby was saying that it will not be born in this selfish world etc.
That long-term solution will be the list of all the actions they should take jointly to save the rainforests.
Only then Mary will have peace of mind and once she had it, then there will be no necessity for her to worry about anything.
Choose It! will help them in that effort without any doubt.
All of us can use Choose It! to come to a decision about any problem that may trouble us from time to time.
Go through the Quick Tour presented by the developers of the software, Sitesell.
Try to solve your own problems by going through the 5 steps.
Relish your decision!